Survivor Stories

What if?!

Sometimes I wonder, What if I hadn’t married such an abusive man, what would I be doing? Would I be happily married to an actual nice and caring man?!   I wish.  I ask myself, how could I have been so fooled by him.

I often think about this when he is slapping me across the face, and throwing me against the wall. I know I cannot change what path I chose in the past, not knowing what lay before me, after the “honeymoon phase” past not long after we returned from our actual honeymoon.  I know that I am not the only one who is “fooled” like this, by a manipulative man, only showing their “charming side” until they have you where they want you.  Now, I just have to decide what to do while I am now pregnant and have seen that he is not going to change.  I am alone….I am scared to death.  I don’t want to live like this anymore….not one day more. Who is there to listen?  To help victims?  I had called the local police (Bolingbrook) once, and they just laughed at me.  Didn’t care at all.  Didn’t do anything.

I am here….just me and my baby inside of me, calling out for help, and no one listens.