Survivor Stories

Walking on Egg Shells

I don’t remember all of my last beating by my husband, as I passed out a short time after he hit me, I fell as he was swearing that I was the worst cook ever.  I could hear my 12 year old daughter yelling at him to stop as she was screaming and crying.  I don’t know where our two younger boys were at that moment, as they had run into their rooms when he started yelling before hitting me.  When I woke up, I saw my daughter with our neighbor standing over me. They didn’t call the police, as the last time this happened, we called the police, but they did nothing, not even make a report, as they said no one would believe me at all, because, you see, he is related to one of the judges in Will County where I live –and it has been stressed to me by the cops, that no one cares.  This is such a sad state, where victims of domestic violence have no way to be heard, because of their abuser’s crooked connections.  It is amazing how certain names in Will County get special treatment over others.  Justice is not blind, but it has deep pockets.

I don’t know what will happen the next time.  He always leaves the house after hitting me and when he comes back, he acts as if he did nothing wrong. I wonder if he could find us if we run.  My daughter told me  one day that we should leave and find  a place to hide where he could not find us.  I almost cried when she said that.  All I could do was hug her tight. How has it gotten to this, where I am not sure if I can protect her from this monster and even she realizes he is dangerous?!  I don’t want our sons to end up like him, thinking it is ok to hit women. It is not ok. I have to figure something out, make some plan, for me and my precious babies.  Or one day it may be one day too late.

I am always walking on egg shells around him—our children are as well.  This is more than we can handle anymore.  We need something better, and we deserve something better.