Survivor Stories

To my sisters in despair

They tell me that abuse can happen to anyone. I never thought it could happen to me. ME? No way. He couldn’t be an abuser – that would mean I was abused! No way.

Too bad it took me so long to see what everyone else saw. They knew what was going on. Even when I covered up, protected him, made excuses for him, I wasn’t fooling anyone (except myself). Neither are you. They know. The people who love you KNOW. They do. ASK them.

When you are ready to face the truth, people will be there to help you. I got help and support from my church, and a domestic violence counselor. The counselor helped me see what was really happening to me and my kids. She helped me get an order of protection. There IS help, but you have to want help. You have to accept help.

My friend (one of those who wasn’t fooled for a minute) said to me, “When you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, you’re gonna get on up out of that mess!” When I finally understood what she meant, I realized how true that was. I got there. I believe you will, too.

Sometimes abusers get well. Sometimes. But he won’t until you do. He won’t believe his behavior is unacceptable until you do. He won’t think he’s doing anything wrong until you do. Is it okay with you if he beats on you, yells at you, ridicules you, controls you? How about your children? Do you give your permission for him to hurt them? If you don’t stop him, who will? Do you want your son to start treating girls and women like his father does? Do you want your daughter to grow up and find her own man to abuse her? Stop the cycle. Enough.

I pray you will get help. Now.