Survivor Stories

This is MY Life

Yes, Scars and all!  This is my life.  He has changed it, through the abuse he has inflicted on me over the years.

It started when I was 20, and he was the second guy I had been in a relationship with, because I was very sheltered as a child and teen.

Little did I know, that he would have put me through all of this, and really didn’t love me, nor know what love really is at all.  I never saw it coming.  Honeymoon was definitely over, the moment we returned from our honeymoon, and that first day he hit me.  Complete shock, was my feeling.  I was numb.  But, there was nowhere to turn.  I was never the same after that day, and it grew words as the minutes, days, weeks, and years went by.

It took many, many, many years, before I would leave.  Many bloody days, and nights, for me, where I had to “clean up” my bloody face, after his rages.  Where I had to “pick myself up”, after being knocked down again and again.

My family thinks it is something that is easy “to get over.”  Well, it isn’t, it is a process, that I work through.  Even though I am “OUT” of the daily hell, I still have to see him in court, deal with him when we have to for the children, and in those times, he continues his emotional and verbal abuse, and manipulation.

It is “never over”, but only a continuation, in some form, of his horrible behavior.

Much of the trauma/abuse, he inflicted on me, will be something I will slowly heal from, over the course of my lifetime.  It is a process.

It always hurts.

The Pain never goes away.