Survivor Stories

One Step at a Time

I know I can make it through this. One step at a time.  This time a month ago, I was bleeding everywhere, from his beatings and thought there was no way to keep going.  I thought I would die from this last one.  Not only was it physically and emotionally painful, but as he started his beating, I looked up at him and saw the devil in his eyes, and wondered how I could have married someone this mean and this evil.  The pure hate that he had in his eyes before he struck me said so much.  I know it is not the first time I have seen this look, but I hope it is the last time I have to look into those hateful eyes before he beats me.    I probably will forever fear him and all of the pain and trauma that he has inflicted on me for so long.  I am not sure how or where I go from here, but I know that one step at a time and one day at a time, is all I can do right now.  I hope, that I will be offered help along the way.  Crying seems to be all I have the energy to do right now.  I am raw with emotion.   I am numb.   It often doesn’t seem fair that myself and so many others go through this pain and trauma.  

Like I said;  One step at a time.