I know I can make it through this. One step at a time. This time a month ago, I was bleeding everywhere, from his beatings and thought there was no way to keep going. I thought I would die from this last one. Not only was it physically and emotionally painful, but as he started his beating, I looked up at him and saw the devil in his eyes, and wondered how I could have married someone this mean and this evil. The pure hate that he had in his eyes before he struck me said so much. I know it is not the first time I have seen this look, but I hope it is the last time I have to look into those hateful eyes before he beats me. I probably will forever fear him and all of the pain and trauma that he has inflicted on me for so long. I am not sure how or where I go from here, but I know that one step at a time and one day at a time, is all I can do right now. I hope, that I will be offered help along the way. Crying seems to be all I have the energy to do right now. I am raw with emotion. I am numb. It often doesn’t seem fair that myself and so many others go through this pain and trauma.
Like I said; One step at a time.