Survivor Stories

No one deserves abuse

I married my husband in 1991, and had my son in 1992. There were so many domestic violence problems from the start, because of his drinking. I did divorce him in 1995, after I felt that I could support him on my own. I was so scared! I feel that we need to teach our children that it is never ok to hit women. We need to steer them away from drugs and alcohol and even encourage boys that they can talk to someone about their issues. I was married to a man in 1991, and he hid his alcohol problem for awhile. He hid his vodka bottles. It became apparent he had a problem 6 weeks into our marriage. He hit me out of something little I said in a conversation. I never saw that coming!

I did not call the police then, but afterwards, 4 subsequent times I had him arrested. The problem with that is it’s a misdemeanor and he’s out in 24 hours, angrier!

The way that I see it, is jail time for men, is not rehabilitating these men, as I found out. The whole time that they are in jail, they are fighting other men for survival. Abusive men come out of jail even angrier!!!

Had I stayed married, “for the sake of my child,” my son would have learned that it’s ok for a man to bully and intimidate women. And I would have surely been dead. No one deserves abuse. No one should ever stay in such a relationship!

If you or someone you know needs help, call the Groundwork 24-Hour Domestic Violence Hotline at (815) 729-1228.