Survivor Stories

Faith in the Midst of Horrors

Please Lord, help me through this.  As I sit in the courtroom, I type this, as tears run down my face, because my soon-to-be ex-husband walks into the courtroom, looking as mean and smug as ever, with his lawyer.  His high powered attorney, and him, trying to portray me, as someone who just fabricated all the terrible horrors of everyday abuse (they say that it’s “all in my head”) that I was subjected to.  They portray it as “not that bad”, and just basic “husband and wife stuff.”   I had started to think I was alone in dealing with this type of ignorance but, as I sit here, I am hearing another woman, not far from me, sobbing, as she stands before the judge with her attorney and her husband and his attorney on the other side of them.  She seems to be extremely afraid (understandably so), but the judge seems to have no sympathy for her.  I have this overwhelming feeling of dread as I know my turn will come soon to stand before this judge.  Does it not matter to the judge what happened to us who have been abused?!  It’s a shame.  I can only know the trauma I have been through, no anyone else’s, but I can’t help but cry for her pain as well.  Not only was I beaten, but I was verbally berated and degraded on a daily basis.  I wish there was more support out there for those of us who are dealing with this pain.  The support I have, is praying for the strength from God to get through this.